In an hour of weakness, you'd still believe; to try Do this one thing for me, make up some stupid story.
Profile Sean, 310892 ngjunkit@hotmail.com Several years and we were right, The things we did and tried, Experiencing different waves and tides, Even if it meant we’ve cried, It’s inevitable for us, To begin to rust, Breaking the thread wasn’t bad, One of us will bring the thread, One will set us back, Soon, We’ll run on the same track; Should we always miss the chance to see? Beneath the mirror lies a scene Bringing us into a whirl Is that what we deserve? We all know we each own an Otherworld — Just a guy behind the smiles Archives September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 Credits ©Glamouresque.	Friday, January 29, 2010 - Moodswings - Currently listening : Run - Leona Lewis I took a peek around facebook to see some profiles (Cause I'm bored, and I have no life DUH). And a particularly one caught my eye. I felt sad. We didn't get to say our long goodbyes cause apparently I did something WRONG. And I'd never know what was it. It's because of your stupidity! Your naivety! And I suffered because of it. I'm utterly depressed. I wanna find lots of chocolate and drown myself in it. - Done - Everything's finished. Well, besides exams of course. Thursday, January 28, 2010 - Desperation - The measures a desperate man would take. I feel drained out. No more energy. No more life. No genuine happiness. The outlets, for which I rely on, ran out. I don’t want to admit to becoming a soulless, emotionless being in order to conform and be part of something more. I don’t want to deny the fact that I have frustrations; that I constantly struggle between real and fiction. Why do I constantly force myself to listen to others? I don’t know. Why do others space out just because they feel like it? I don’t know. People often think they’re ignored; but they’re not. I try to think that I’m not ignored, but I feel I am. I’m really afraid to break down again. The last time hurt; and I promised not to fall again. But every reason is telling me not to. The truth: I feel pain in every place I tread on. I’m not an emo’ freak. But I admit: I feel more alone than ever. I can’t take it anymore. Why can’t everyone just consume hatred and make peace? I desperately hope everyone will make peace one day. I guess I’m just frustrated because I feel so much hatred and anger from everyone. I always try to smile and make people laugh. My actions are for a reason: to give people a good enough reason to smile again after all the anger they’ve consumed. But it turns out; everyone doesn’t treat me seriously after that. I just need a friend to understand all of this. It’s as simple as that. Like a man possessed, this is the measures a desperate man takes. Monday, January 25, 2010 - Fool - Currently Listening: Round & Round - V Factory I just don't get it. Why is it so hard for people to apologize? Just two words: "I'm Sorry". Worst still, why can't people accept an apology and choose to continue to live in misery? People, suck it up! All those egocentricism should stop. Sunday, January 24, 2010 - Light up, light up - Currently Listening: Run - Snow Patrol This whole week was tough. But I'll try to be better. I'll sing it one last time for you Then we really have to go You've been the only thing that's right In all I've done And I can barely look at you But every single time I doI know we'll make it anywhere Away from here Light up, light up As if you have a choice Even if you cannot hear my voice I'll be right beside you dear Louder louderAnd we'll run for our lives I can hardly speak I understand Why you can't raise your voice to say To think I might not see those eyes Makes it so hard not to cry And as we say our long goodbye I nearly doLight up... Slower slower We don't have time for that All I want is to find an easier way To get out of our little heads Have heart my dear We're bound to be afraid Even if it's just for a few days Making up for all this mess. Thursday, January 21, 2010 - Reasons - All the reasons I give myself to make me feel better. All the reasons people give to take it away. I try all ways to conceal my vulnerability. I use it to help others. But I'm as afraid as you. And I'm always taken advantage of. My fears are exposed. Tuesday, January 19, 2010 - Alone - I always assume I'm sad and alone. The only person in this world. But when I saw it, I knew that it was true I WAS alone. But everyone is lonely. The fact that the 6 billion people in the world are all connected, is true. But it's because of this connection that everyone is bound to feel lonely. I tell myself. I have a sad, lonely life. But what about the rest of the 6 billion people? Don't assume everything is about you, Sean. Sunday, January 17, 2010 - Peak - Currently Listening: Look After You - The Fray I'm afraid to change. I really do. What ever people do and say, we try to change. But the fact is, we never do. We just put on an act and behave how people want us to. It's who we are. I'm tired of being someone I'm not. Friday, January 15, 2010 - Thankful - Currently Listening: Son's Gonna Rise - Citizen Cope First, I wanna thank those that stuck with me through my tough times. Secondly, I wanna thank those that helped me with my work and problems Thirdly, I wanna thank those endured pains for me. Fourth, I wanna thank those that pissed me off. Fifth, I wanna thank some son's of bitches that made me kinda' realize something. Finally, I wanna thank all of you for helping me ... . . . . in making a poop. Monday, January 11, 2010 - Teeth - Currently listening: Re-Offender - Travis Maybe they should have a weight limit for everyone. Maybe they should label it a crime. I'm getting heavier by the second. And there's nothing I can do about it. My suggestion: Singapore should have a policy that says: "Males prohibited from weighing more than 70kg" Those who are offenders will have to pay a fine ($10). And make em' suffer through a special rehab centre, which is meant for those overweight to lose the excess fats. I think I'm friggin' unmotivated when it comes to weight issues. I'm fooling myself, thinking that all these weight will just go away. But i'm gonna do it again and again. I keep making the same mistakes over and over again. I need to change. Some people hate fat people. Some people love em'. I wanna embrace something I long own. But the past haunts me, and it's gonna repeat itself. Who am I kidding? It's not just the weight problems. Everything else that is happening. I need to get a life, but I'm afraid of it. Life's disease. We're gonna do the same mistakes again and again. And again. Friday, January 8, 2010 -Tough life much - Currently Listening: Life's Disease - Stutterfly It's okay if you wanna comment on how lousy I speak. It's okay if you wanna comment how ugly I am as compared to you. It's okay if you wanna think you are better than me. It's NEVER okay to boss people around just because you think you're intellectually superior as compared to me. I'm not sure whether you are naturally arrogant or something else. I know you need constant validation from people less intelligent than you. I've had enough of your condescension, and you can certainly stop giving opinions when no one asks for it. Maybe I didn't get a HIGH GPA, or SCORE BETTER results like you. Maybe I have a slower brain, and unlike you I take a LONGER time to process things. But don't ever think you are always smarter everybody else in the world. Dont always underestimate me, cause clearly you do not know me. If I want to, I can do it. I just do not want to do anything because it's not worth it, and this is not a JUSTIFICATION. Don't think you are always right, when you are clearly not. I'm not as predictable as you think I am, because you do not know squat about me. You don't even know how fake I can get in front of people. Clearly, you are TORMENTED BY INSECURITIES AND HAS AN EGO IN NEED OF CONSTANT VALIDATION BY OTHERS. I admit I need it too, but I dont blame others for stupid things and be so critical of everything that people say. Only people I despise and hate. So don't ever comment on my character and how lousy I am. Because one day I'll make you understand what it's like to be constantly undermined by others. Tuesday, January 5, 2010 - Justice - I didn't think I would get so fed up just after a few days of 2010. I'm not gonna let anyone do it again. It's just unfair that some people can get away with it and I can't. Screw'em. Sunday, January 3, 2010 - Sunlight; Sleep - As the sun starts to rise, I feel warmth. The heat that burns bright everywhere. It might be lighting up my world. The world in which people I know live in. Some yearn for it. In other parts of this world, this burning source is a kind of hope. People hope for this warmth to be ushered back into their lives. Even when it is only a mere, short wait. The short wait in which we have this comfort to ourselves. But do we ever know this feeling? This feeling that gives us hope and warmth. Do we actually comprehend the existence of the Sun? If we cannot realize that, do we realize the existence of others? Those people. The empathy. We ought to let go. Even though there are a million reasons telling you to do so. The voice inside you will always be defying the reasons. Love. Hate. Pain. Fate. We need to move on. But we always hesitate, for the love that these people bring to you. It can never be realized. When the Sun dies, these people will too. And then, We learn about pain. The manifestation of an act of missing someone's presence when it isn't there anymore. We learn about love. The realization of having to let go even when it means you have to sacrifice. We learn about hate. The denial of the fact that these people are gone, but we still hold on dearly until we eventually act out. We learn about fate. We have no control over things. Like the Sun, it's unpredictable. We learn to cherish these people around us.
I'm losing patience, waiting on you to believe Cause.. I'm just restless